Written in August 2024
Exciting news today… I said yes to the dress! I’ve really enjoyed the process of finding my wedding dress, so I thought it would be nice to document what the process looked like. In two months, I visited six shops (including a Wed2Be, a handful of bridal shops and a charity shop with a bridal boutique) and tried on a grand total of 32 dresses! I also watched an unhealthy amount of Say yes to the dress, because it’s all part of the research, right?
I started without any fixed ideas, apart from one requirement – I had to have sleeves. I rarely wear short-sleeved or sleeveless dresses, so I figured that’s what I’d be most comfortable in. Perhaps something fitted and with a pretty floral pattern too, but I went into the first appointment (at A Family Affair in Kendal) pretty open minded.
They say that many people end up choosing the first dress they try on, and the first one was quite appealing – a Roman-esque dress with long sleeves that would probably fit better at a classy, high society wedding in the city, rather than a National Trust house in the hills. Several more followed, which was great for getting ideas although none really stood out. I learnt that sleeves can be added, but they’re not in fashion anymore.
I was surprised by how rough you could be with the dresses. Some were way too tight, but she squeezed me in; others were too loose, and I was pinned with giant bulldog clips. I also discovered how heavy wedding dresses are – it’s not just a dress; you have to consider the front, back, underwear, underskirt, and more, but all are beautifully made and feel very luxurious to wear. I was excited to try on more!
A few weeks later I was visiting family and went to visit La Beck Bridal in Perth. A friend had bought her wedding dress there and the shop came highly recommended. I tried on a handful of dresses and started to see that in some dresses, the dress itself is the feature and they look beautiful on the hanger, whereas others look great on, but pretty ordinary on the hanger.
This was the case for one dress that I almost didn’t try on because it looked too big. A 1950s-style, classic princess gown. It wasn’t at all what I thought I wanted (no sleeves!) but it felt like being the princess in a wind-up box. I loved the A-line shaping and V-neck, unlike the ones that suck you in and make you feel like you’d have to waddle round all day.
I was seriously tempted by the princess gown, and even went back to try it on the next day, but hesitated because it was so different to what I had expected to like. I loved the buttons and lace detail on some of the other ones, which this one definitely didn’t have. Pippa Middleton-style buttons down the back was the dream!
While I was in Scotland, we thought it would be worth visiting the Red Cross Bridal charity shop in Edinburgh. It’s total luck of the draw as to whether you find one in your size, but worth a try! The dresses were all a couple of hundred pounds or less (which is a BARGAIN in the wedding dress world), and they can be ex sample stock donated from bridal shops, or donated by brides (‘oh so they’ve only been worn once’ as I embarrassingly pointed out). There were some lovely ones, but none of them quite right without needing serious alterations that would’ve cost more than the dress. By this point I had definitely come round to liking the plainer skirts better and more simple fabrics, and definitely not liking tulle. The in-at-the-waist and fuller skirts seemed to suit me the most, and made me feel like a proper bride, rather than just a fancy white dress that in another colour definitely wouldn’t be a wedding dress. When else are you going to wear a big ballgown-style dress anyway?
Next up, as recommended by a colleague, was Mears Ghyll Bridal Rooms in Lancaster. I learnt here that you can have separates with a lace bolero for the top, which opened up a whole new world. But ultimately, a world I decided not to enter, as the price for the lace top was extortionate and I liked the idea of just having one dress, without all the extra belts and add-ons.
Then came the Wed2be store in Carlisle. Wed2be shops are scattered all over the country, offering affordable gowns in the wedding dress world, with the bonus that you can buy and take home your dress the same day and walk in without an appointment. Again, I tried on a couple with separate lace cardigans, but I knew I wouldn’t take the cardigan off in the evening. I ended up really loving the two on the right in the photos below. The first caught my eye with its unusual sleeves and buttons down the back, while the second appealed for its timeless elegance. I hadn’t considered flutter sleeves before, but discovered they were a really good sleeve option. Through this process, I learned that 3/4 tight sleeves actually draw attention to your arms rather than minimizing them as you’re hoping.
At this point, I’d narrowed it down to the two dresses pictured below and needed to make a decision to give the dress time to arrive if it had to be ordered in. I liked elements of both: both were V-neck and fuller skirts. I loved the lace floral detail on the Wed2be dress and of course the sleeves, but I loved how classic the Perth one was and how simple and timeless.
I took Mum to Carlisle to get a second opinion on the Wed2be dress. We made an overnight stay out of it and when I woke up the next morning and I was leaning more towards the Perth dress (although there wasn’t much in it!). We had an appointment at a final bridal shop (Carol’s Bridal Boutique) and I almost cancelled it, thinking I’d just go for the Perth one, but since it was already booked we decided to go.
By that point I was very clear on what I wanted: a train, A-line/ballgown fit, V-neck/sweetheart neckline, some kind of sleeve (I couldn’t go completely without, as my Granny had always said that strapless dresses make the bride look like she’s not wearing anything at the top table…), around the £600-£800 (max) price point. The first dress she brought out looked just like the Perth one (although the sample one was in a sky blue shade), but with that button detailing I’d been hoping for all along and instantly I absolutely loved it! I felt so comfortable in it and I couldn’t stop smiling. It had a couple of pleats in the skirt and a softer neckline and bodice which was perfect. The sample size was a good fit, and would only need a few alterations. It was the most efficient appointment because I knew exactly what I wanted, plus I had the feeling of this is the one! immediately.
And with that, in July 2024, I said yes to the dress. Who knew I’d go for a sleeveless dress and not think about my arms once?!
March 2025
So I went to a lot of shops and tried on a lot of dresses, but I actually really enjoyed the process! After the last few years of being poked and prodded and injected and scanned, it was really nice to do something so luxurious and to feel good in my body, rather than feeling like a specimen all the time. The process made me feel a lot better about my body after all the changes it went through during chemo, and on the big day I absolutely loved wearing my dream dress ❤️
Laura writes... 